进入一个宽敞通风的卧室，然后餐具柜转了一圈，变成了浴室。 Into a big, airy bedroom, and then the sideboard turns around and turns into the bathroom.
这样你就可以边吃边洗澡了?当然不是，傻瓜。 So you can eat while you bathe? Of course not, silly.
那它怎么会在浴室里?它在浴室里什么都没做。 Then what's it doing in the bathroom? It isn't doing anything in the bathroom.
我说它变成了浴室。 I said it turns into a bathroom.
有时它变成小厨房，有时变成壁炉。 Then another time it turns into a kitchenette, another time into a fireplace.
我不认为你能点燃它，但它看起来非常可爱。 I don't think you can light it, but it looks awfully cute.
什么变成了壁炉?角落里的这个东西。 What turns into a fireplace? This gag in the corner.
它把一个房间变成了四个房间。 It turns around and makes one room into four rooms.
这样，没有多少钱的年轻人就能以一居室的价格买到一套可爱的四居室公寓。 So that young people who haven't much money can have a lovely, four-room apartment for the price of a one-room apartment.
如果只有一个房间，那就不是公寓。 Well, if it's one room it isn't an apartment.
嗯，他们是这么叫的。和四个房间一模一样。 Well, that's what they call it. It's exactly the same as four rooms.
是的，但是假设我…你只要把这东西转到角落里…如果我想在你去厨房的时候去壁炉呢? Yeah, but suppose I... you just turn this thing in the corner... Suppose I wanted to go to the fireplace while you were in the kitchenette?
你只是想让事情变得更困难。 You're just trying to make things difficult.
对你来说，除了第五大道的一座宫殿，什么都不够好。 Nothing's good enough for you except a palace on fifth Avenue.
女士们先生们，我给你们咖啡。 I give you coffee, ladies and gentlemen.
完美的晚餐结束了…祝我好运。 The end of the perfect dinner... Knock wood for me.
完美一天的开始。 The beginning of the perfect day.
女士们先生们，我们期待已久的时刻到了。 And now, ladies and gentlemen, the moment we have all been waiting for.
我们即将公布奖金五万美元的maxford house新口号比赛的结果一等奖25000美元，二等奖5000美元，三等奖2500美元，四等奖1500美元， We are about to give you the result of the $50,000 maxford house new slogan contest with a first prize of $25,000, a second prize of $5,000, a third prize of $2,500, a fourth prize of $1,500,
第五名奖金为1000美元，其他95名奖金总计15000美元。 a fifth prize of $1,000, and 95 other prizes totaling $15,000.
有些人会在几分钟内神志不清。 Are some folks going to be delirious in a few minutes.
女士们先生们，你们可以想象，所有的糖吸引了很多苍蝇。 As you may well imagine, ladies and gentlemen, all that sugar draws a lot of flies.
评审团已经努力了一个星期，试图从2947582个答案中选出优胜者。 And the jury here has been struggling for a week to try to pick the winners from a little snowdrift of 2,947,582 answers.
女士们先生们，在任何语言中都有很多答案，包括斯堪的纳维亚语。 And that, ladies and gentlemen, is a lot of answers in any language, including the Scandinavian.
麦克斯福德博士，我们的创始人兼总裁，在我身边。 Dr. maxford, our founder and president, is at my side.
我知道，只要过一会儿陪审团就会停止角力，把判决书交给马克斯福德医生，他就会亲自，用他那著名的声音， And I know that it will only be a matter of a few moments until the jury ceases wrestling with itself, hands Dr. maxford the verdict, and he will himself, in that well-known voice of his,
宣读获奖者名单。 read you the names of the winners.
我们好像遇到了点小麻烦， We seem to have run into a little contretemps,
但我向你保证，这只是……怎么了?陪审团陷入了僵局。 but I assure you it will only be a matter of... What's the matter? The jury is deadlocked.
僵局?十一比一。 Deadlocked? Eleven to one.
11比1 ? Eleven to one?
就像我说的，陪审团很快就会理清自己的问题，我们将听到获奖者的名字向全世界广播。 As I say it will only be a matter of a few moments before the jury untangles itself, and we will hear the happy winners' hames broadcast throughout the world.
我… I...
耐心点，女士们先生们。 Just a little Patience, ladies and gentlemen.
你难道不明白这个比赛……关于僵局的废话是什么?判决结果如何? Can't you get it through your conk that this contest... What's all this hogwash about a deadlock? Where's the verdict?
你最好问问船主。是的，你也会得到答案的。 You'd better ask bildocker. Yeah, and you'll get an answer, too.
如果你们这些鸟有公鸡的大脑……我讨厌这样，骗子。 If you birds had the brains of a rooster... I resent that, bildocker.
你可能对运输部门有所了解，但当我们11个人意见一致时，我说你有一个很好的外壳……是吗?好吧，让我告诉你。 You may know something about the shipping department, but when the 11 of us are agreed, I say you've a fine crust... Yeah? Well, let me tell you something.
下周10点，在我屈服之前……安静! It'll be 10:00 next week and then some before I give in to... Quiet!
一群肥头大耳、口若悬河的笨蛋，对未来一无所知……安静! A bunch of fat headed, mealy-mouthed lamebrains that wouldn't know enough to come... Quiet!
跳johosephat ! Jumping johosephat!
你知道我们在直播吗? Do you happen to realize that we're on the air?
你有没有意识到整个美国都在等着你的判决，一亿两千万的人都悬在你的嘴边，你让西半球的人都心力衰竭了? Do you happen to realize that the whole of America is waiting for your verdict, that 120 million people are suspended from your lips, that you're giving heart failure to the western hemisphere?
话说回来，你知道怎么选口号吗? What do you know about picking slogans, anyway?
如果你踩到一个，你根本不知道什么是口号。 You wouldn't know a slogan if you slipped on one.
如果你们有阿米巴变形虫的大脑…但我们都同意，麦克斯福德医生。 If you gentlemen had the combined brains of an amoeba... But we're all agreed, Dr. maxford.
只有船主在坚持。 It's only bildocker who's holding out.
哦，是的，是吗? Oh, it is, is it?
让我告诉你，比尔多克先生。 Well, let me tell you something, Mr. Bildocker.
在过去的二十年里，你一直在烦我，我之前就想说的。 You've been getting into my hair for the past 20 years, and I meant to mention it before.
我只给你四秒钟的时间…不，你不是，麦克斯福德医生。 I'm going to give you just four seconds flat... Oh, no, you're not, Dr. maxford.
我是陪审团的一员，我要投票给我认为正确的方式，即使这需要10年的时间! I'm a member of this jury and I'm going to vote the way I think is right if it takes 10 years!
你可以把我赶出运输部，但你不能把我赶出陪审团因为我在陪审团里不为你工作! You can fire me out of the shipping department, but you aren't going to fire me off this jury because I don't work for you on this jury!
我在免费为一群笨蛋服务，他们…谁说要解雇你了，你个笨蛋? I'm giving my services free to the bunch of suckers who... Oh, who said anything about firing you, you lunkhead?
我只是说我… All t said was that I...
是吗? Yes?
是啊，是吗? Oh, we are, are we?
那真是太好了。 Well, that's just lovely.
我们要停播了，先生们，你们慢慢来。 We're going off the air, gentlemen, so just take your time.
你可以在这里待到下周三，我才不管。 You can stay here till next Wednesday for all I care.
或者你可以待在这里直到霍博肯冰封。 Or you can stay here till hoboken freezes over.
我们没有履行对公众的承诺。 We have failed in our promise to the public.
我们搞砸了商业史上最具戏剧性的广告时刻，而你把我变成了一个傻瓜。 We have muffed the most dramatic advertising moment in the annals of commerce, and you've made a fathead out of me.
下一个跟我谈比赛的笨蛋最好在我攻击他之前赶紧滚开。 The next nitwit who talks to me about a contest had better duck before I swing on him.
最后，先生们，尤其是你，比尔多克先生，让我说，我看到过比你好得多的戴伞的人! In conclusion, gentlemen, and especially you, Mr. bildocker, let me say that I have seen far, far better heads on umbrellas!
所以，女士们先生们，另一段节目将在第449期麦克斯福之家节目结束时播出。 And so, ladies and gentleman, another broadcast slips into posterity as we bring to a close the 449th maxford house program.
我希望我能告诉你这个你急着想听到的消息，但既然我不能，我就用刽子手找不到绳子时囚犯说的话来结束我的谈话， I wish I could have given you the news that you were so anxious to hear, but since I could not, I will conclude with what the prisoner said when the hangman couldn't find the rope,
没有套索就是好套索。 "no noose is good noose."
我是唐·哈特曼祝大家晚安。 This is Don hartman wishing you all good night.
你觉得怎么样? How do you like that?
他们让你大饱眼福，然后把你挂在肉钩上。 They build you up to a big finish then leave you there hanging on a meat hook.
你听到他说的了"没有消息就是好消息" You heard what he said, "no news is good news."
他说"没有套索就是好套索" He said, "no noose is good noose."
有什么区别?没关系。 What's the difference? It doesn't matter.
我希望他们不管怎样都能把这事做完。 I wish they'd get it over with, one way or the other.
你开始考虑那2.5万美元，甚至是5000美元……或者任何事情。你说对了。 You start thinking about that $25,000 or even the $5,000... Or even anything. You said it.
然后当你几乎掌握要领的时候，他们就把你的舌头伸出来。 And then when you've practically got it right in your mitts, they leave you there with your tongue hanging out.
应该有一条法律来禁止这样的事情。 There ought to be a law against things like that.
你真的以为你能赢吗，吉米? Did you really think you were going to win it, Jimmy?
我还没失去理智，对吧? Well, I haven't lost it yet, have I?
你输了多少?我不知道。 How many have you lost? I don't know.
但我知道，每次我输掉一场比赛，下一场比赛的机会就会增加一倍。这就是你所说的平均法则，就像我输掉了“窗户里有多少花生”的比赛一样。 But I do know that every time I've lost a contest, I've doubled my chances on the next one. It's what you call the law of average, like when I lost the "how many peanuts in the window" contest.
这让我的机会增加了一倍…是的，他们在花生下面放了盒子。 Well, that doubled my chances on... Yeah, they put boxes under the peanuts.
他们有权利这么做。 Well, they got a right to do that.
他们没有问花生下面有多少盒子。 They didn't ask how many boxes under the peanuts.
他们只是说……“窗户里有多少花生?” All they said was... "How many peanuts are there in the window?"
好吧，我弄丢了。这让我参加"填字大赛"的机会增加了一倍。但是你也失去了那个。 All right, I lost it. Well, that doubled my chances on the "you fill in the missing words" contest. But you lost that one, too.
很好。所以当我参加打油诗比赛时，我是8比1。 Fine. So I was eight to one when I went into the limerick contest.
但你没赢，吉米。所以这次才会这么容易。 But you didn't win it, Jimmy. That's what makes it such a cinch this time.
你就不能在那边的灯光下看吗? Can't you just see it over there in lights?
那人把咖啡吞了下去，上面说:“如果你晚上睡不着，那不是咖啡的问题，而是床铺的问题。” The guy swallows his coffee, and it says, "if you don't sleep at night, it isn't the coffee, it's the bunk."
你得承认这口号还不错。 You got to admit that's some slogan.
啊哈。 Uh-huh.
你明白我的意思了吗?你明白这是什么意思吗? Well, do you get the point? Do you understand what it means?
是的。是什么意思? Yes. What do you mean yes?
它像水晶一样清晰。 It's clear as crystal.
不是咖啡的问题，是床的问题。 It isn't the coffee, it's the bunk.
如果你晚上睡不着，让你睡不着的不是咖啡，而是床铺。 If you don't sleep at night, it isn't the coffee that keeps you awake, it's the bunk.
一派胡言!当你睡不着的时候!我知道上面写了什么。 The bunk! When you don't sleep! I know what it says.
我已经听过一千遍了。我就是不明白。 I've heard it a thousand times. I just don't understand it.
也许你没有试着去理解它。也许我不知道。 Maybe you don't try to understand it. Maybe I don't.
我想一个两岁的孩子都能理解。 I should think a kid of two could understand that.
这位维也纳医生在周日报纸上说，整个想法只是一种迷信，咖啡不是让你保持清醒，而是让你睡觉。 This viennese doctor in the Sunday paper says the whole idea is just a superstition, that instead of keeping you awake coffee makes you sleep.
这很简单，不是吗?咖啡能让你入睡。 That's simple enough, isn't it? Coffee makes you sleep.
它使我无法入睡。他是维也纳的医生。 It doesn't make me sleep. He's a viennese doctor.
如果他说这让你…咖啡让你清醒，吉米。 If he says it makes you... Coffee keeps you awake, Jimmy.
这是众所周知的事实。你为什么这么固执? It's a well-known fact. Why are you so pig-headed about it?
我不是想反驳你，我是…我告诉你这是新的科学理论。这是我的口号的基础。 I'm not just trying to contradict you, I'm... I tell you it's the new scientific theory. It's the basis of my slogan.
人们认为咖啡能让他们保持清醒。 People think coffee keeps them awake.
这种人神经紧张，睡不着觉，所以为什么要怪咖啡呢? Those kind of people are nervous wrecks and can't sleep anyway, so why blame it on the coffee?
所以我说，“如果你晚上睡不着，那不是咖啡的问题，而是床铺的问题。” So I say, "if you don't sleep at night, it isn't the coffee, it's the bunk."
你明白了吗?我想是的。 Do you get it? I guess so.
你猜是吧。这是什么意思? You guess so. What does it mean?
这是铺位。是的，但你明白文字游戏的意思吗? It's the bunk. Yes, but do you get the play on words?
你不需要玩文字游戏，吉米。 Oh, you don't need a play on words, Jimmy.
如果有人跟你说咖啡能让你入睡，你不用玩文字游戏就知道那是床。 Any time anybody tells you coffee makes you sleep, you don't need a play on words to know it's the bunk.
你不明白吗?这很有趣。 Don't you understand? It's funny.
当人们听到它时，他们会嘲笑它。 People are going to laugh at it when they hear it.
这意味着如果你晚上睡不着，不是咖啡让你睡不着，而是床。对我来说是咖啡。 It means if you don't sleep at night, it isn't the coffee that keeps you awake, it's the bed. With me it's the coffee.
你知道我想让你赢，吉米。我和你一样焦虑。 Oh, you know I want you to win it, Jimmy. I'm just as anxious as you are.
当你输掉这个的时候，想想下一个的机会会有多大。 And when you lose this one, just think how much better your chances will be on the next one.
大家都说咖啡会让人睡不着，谁想赢什么都不太可能。 Fine chance anybody's got of winning anything with everybody going around saying coffee keeps you awake.
好吧，我们下楼喝一加仑咖啡，看谁睡得最久。闭嘴。 All right, let's go downstairs and drink a gallon of coffee and see which one sleeps the longest. Shut up.
吉米!吉米! Jimmy! Jimmy!
是的,女士? Yes, ma'am?
齐默尔曼先生说，请不要大声说话，他要睡觉了。 Mr. Zimmerman says will you please not talk so loud, he's trying to go to sleep.
叫他喝杯咖啡。 Tell him to drink a cup of coffee.
别把感冒带上去。贝蒂够暖和吗? And don't take cold up there. Is Betty warm enough?
好的，谢谢你，麦克唐纳太太。好的，亲爱的。 Yes, thank you, Mrs. MacDonald. All right, dear.
即使你没有赢得上次比赛，我也一样喜欢你。 I'd like you just as much even if you didn't win the old contest.
那是因为你是个笨蛋。 That's because you're a sap.
好吧，也许我是。但如果我是，我很高兴。 Well, maybe I am. But if I am, I'm glad of it.
你知道我们对彼此的感觉。皆无。 You know how we feel about each other. Nix.
这是真的，不是吗?你不能说我很主动。 Well, it's true, isn't it? You can't say I'm being forward.
并不多。好吧，我不是。 Not much. Well, I'm not.
时光飞逝，我们不再年轻。 Time is slipping by and we're not getting any younger.
皆无。 Nix.
两个人的生活可以和一个人一样便宜。谁想过便宜的生活? Two can live as cheaply as one. Who wants to live cheaply?
别说了，好吗? Cut it out, will you?
如果你赢了两万五千美元，你会怎么做?把它存进银行。 What would you do if you won the $25,000? Stick it in the bank.
你连个小戒指都不买吗? Wouldn't you even buy a little ring or something?
我不喜欢男人戴戒指。哦,你。 I don't like rings on a man. Oh, you.
说这些有什么用，亲爱的? Oh, what's the use of talking about it, honey?
你知道我会把钱都花在你和妈妈身上。 You know I'd spend it all on you and mom.
我会给你买一辆闪亮的新车，一套豪华的公寓，也许是郊区的梦幻小屋，雇些帮手，也许去欧洲旅行，也许现在去大峡谷会更好。 I'd get you a new, shiny car and a swell apartment, maybe one of those little dream houses in the suburbs, some hired help, maybe a trip to Europe, maybe the Grand Canyon would be better nowadays.
我们会很开心的。反正我们也会快乐的。 And we'd be happy, all right. We could be happy anyway.
那你就错了。 That's where you're wrong.
一切意味着幸福的东西都需要金钱和……你爸爸娶你妈妈的时候赚多少钱? Everything that means happiness costs money and... How much was your dad making when he married your mom?
一星期18美元。好吗? Eighteen bucks a week. Well?
嗯什么?你觉得这能证明什么吗? Well what? Do you think that proves something?
她从来没有在乡下待过一天，从来没有买过什么好家具。 She's never been to the country for more than a day, never had any nice furniture.
她一生的梦想是一辆达文波特，在晚上变成一张双人床，带着曲柄。 The dream of her life is a Davenport that turns into a double bed at nighttime, with a crank.
除了她自己做的衣服，她从来没有穿过漂亮的衣服。 She's never had a nice dress except those she made herself.
在我找到第一份工作之前，我一直穿着他的衣服，而他在48岁的时候就已经筋疲力尽了，因为他负担不起一个像样的医生。 I wore the old man's stuff cut down till I got my first job, and he was worn out at 48 and croaked because he couldn't afford a decent doctor.
你哪来的"一周18块"的东西? Where do you get that "18 bucks a week" stuff?
我赚18，你赚22，那就是40…当然,当然。你有你妈，我有我妈。 Well, I earn 18 and you earn 22 and that's 40... Sure, sure. And you got your ma and I got mine.
你有了孩子，你不得不停止工作，我们又回到了22号。 You get a kid and you have to stop work and we're right back at the 22 again.
除了你，还有那孩子，还有两位老太太和我。 Except then there is you, and the kid, and the two old ladies and me.
但是,吉米…拒绝,亲爱的。 But, Jimmy... nix, honey.
他们不会给你这样的手腕和手，让你在洗衣盆里糟蹋的。 They didn't give you wrists like that and hands like that to spoil in a washtub for a poor sap like me.
吉米……在这个旧世界里，你得照顾好自己。你要看到机会，抓住它。 Jimmy... you got to look out for yourself in this old world. You got to see the main chance and grab it.
有很多钱的机会。男人会照顾自己。 A chance with plenty of money. Men look out for themselves.
他们除了钱什么都不考虑。一个女孩也应该这样做而不是把时间浪费在像我这样的男人身上，除非他撞过来。 They don't think about anything but money. A girl's got to do the same instead of fooling away her time on a guy like me unless he crashes through.
你让我很累。那你为什么不去睡觉? You make me tired. Then why don't you go to bed?
这话说得真好。 That's a nice thing to say.
你邀请一个女孩到你的屋顶上，然后对她大喊大叫。 You invite a girl over on your roof and then yell at her.
如果我想被侮辱，我可以和信贷经理约会。 If I wanted to be insulted, I could have gone out with a credit manager.
谁在阻止你? Who's stopping you?
非常感谢，麦克唐纳先生。很高兴知道你的立场。 Thank you very much, Mr. MacDonald. It's nice to know where you stand.
我很抱歉。 I'm sorry.
也许我会和信贷经理约会。晚安 Maybe I will go out with a credit manager. Good night.
等一下，我来帮你。我不需要任何帮助，谢谢。 Wait a minute and I'll help you. I don't need any help, thank you.
在这里。 Here.
请放开我的手臂。你为什么不小心点? Kindly let go of my arm. Why don't you watch your step?
你为什么不管好你自己的事?哦，闭嘴。 Why don't you mind your own business? Oh, shut up.
你为什么不闭嘴? Why don't you shut up?
你们俩为什么不闭嘴? Why don't you both shut up?
你看到了什么? You see?
他们把马弄上去了吗? They got up there a horse yet?
等待你的笑声。明智的人。 Wait for your laugh. Wise guy.
面包和黄油。面包和黄油。 Bread and butter. Bread and butter.
别从梯子上摔下来。我以前从梯子上下来过。 Don't fall down the ladder. I've been down the ladder before.
你以前也摔过。 You fell down it before, too.
晚安 晚安 Good night. Good night.
办公室见。你不带我去吗? See you at the office. Aren't you going to take me?
好吧。 All right.
晚安，吉米。晚安 Good night, Jimmy. Good night.
晚安 晚安 Good night. Good night.
晚安 Night.
晚安，亲爱的。晚安，亲爱的。 Good night, honey. Good night, darling.
晚安 晚安 Good night. Good night.
晚安！ Good night!
我告诉你它会让你睡着。 I tell you it makes you sleep.
好吧，它能让你入睡。 All right, it makes you sleep.
水往山上流，狗叫，猫叫，水在冬天是炽热的，在夏天结冰。 And water runs uphill, and dogs meow, and cats bark, and water's red hot in the wintertime and freezes over in the summertime.
你和你父亲一样是个梦想家。 You're a dreamer just like your father.
对他来说，汽车总是顺风，你把风从前面卷起来，然后把它从后面推出去，让它跑起来，或者类似这样的狂野。 With him it was always automobiles where the wind, you scooped it up in the front, and pushed it out in the back to make it go or some such wildness.
是啊，我的想法是不会被吹走的。 Yeah, well, there's no wind blowing out of my ideas.
你风很大。 You're pretty windy.
你有车费吗?是这样认为的。 Have you got carfare? Think so.
是的。 Yeah.
许个愿。 Make a wish.
落到地板上的东西会落到门上。好吧。 What falls to the floor comes to the door. All right.
没有什么好笑的。我记得你父亲，愿他的灵魂安息，把一个25美分的硬币掉到裂缝里，不到一个小时，一个近视的人就给了他一个5美元的金币 There's nothing to laugh about. I mind the time your father, may his soul be peaceful, dropped a quarter down a crack, and it wasn't an hour till a near-sighted man give him a $5 gold piece
而不是给他五分钱。 instead of a nickel in paying his fare.
那天晚上我们去了康尼。爸爸的眼睛怎么了? We went to coney that night. What was the matter with pa's eyes?
他此刻碰巧在看别的地方。 He happened to be looking somewhere else at the moment.
你父亲的眼睛和他身体的其他部分都没有问题。 There was nothing the matter with your father's eyes or any of the rest of him.
他是第三大街上最英俊的售票员。 He was the finest looking conductor on the third Avenue.
他确实是。 He sure was.
你在他身边就像只小虾。我当然愿意。 You'd look like a shrimp beside him. I sure would.
那就不要说任何反对你父亲的话。 Then don't be saying anything against your father.
我不是在说他的坏话，妈妈。 Oh, I'm not saying anything against him, mom.
好吧，小心脚下。 Well, watch your step.
吉米。是的,女士。 Jimmy. Yes, ma'am.
你的杯子里有钱。 There's money in your cup.
于是笨蛋问:“鱼先生在吗?” And so the sucker says, "is Mr. fish there?"
电话那头的人说:“你想要哪一个?” And the guy on the other end says, "which one do you want?
“这里是纽约水族馆。” "This is the New York aquarium."
不，但最好的一个是你说，“这是爱迪生公司。 No, but the best one is you say, "this is the Edison company.
“你介不介意出去看看你房子前面的路灯是不是还亮着?” "Would you mind stepping outside and seeing if the street light's burning in front of your house?"
当那个可怜的家伙回来说:“是的，是的。”你说:“好吧，把它吹灭，好吗?” And when the poor mug comes back and says, "yes, it is," you say, "well, blow it out, will you?"
喂?喂，是maxford house咖啡公司吗? Hello? Hello, is this the maxford house coffee company?
嗯，你能告诉我陪审团是否已经对比赛作出裁决了吗? Well, could you tell me if the jury has reached a verdict on the contest yet?
哦，他们没有?那么每个人都还有机会，是吧? Oh, they haven't? Well, then there's still a chance for everybody, huh?
还是要谢谢你。 Thanks just the same.
我想知道如果那些笨蛋赢得了什么，他们会怎么做? I wonder what one of those suckers would do if they ever did win anything?
嗯，这很容易发现。 Well, it's very easy to find out.
你只需要一张电报纸，一些剪刀和一些胶水。 All you need is a telegraph blank, some scissors and some glue.
你把它切成条状，粘在空白的地方。 You cut it in strips, glue it on the blank.
好家伙! Holy mackerel!
下午好，凯西小姐。早上好，沃特伯里先生。 Good afternoon, miss Casey. Good morning, Mr. waterbury.
早上好，约翰。 Good morning, John.
它堵塞。它最近经常这样做。 It jams. It's been doing that quite a lot lately.
神奇的是它居然还能起作用。是的,先生。 The wonder is it works at all. Yes, sir.
到我办公室来一下，麦克唐纳先生。 Come into my office a moment, Mr. MacDonald.
是的,先生。 Yes, sir.
我观察你有一段时间了，麦克唐纳先生。 I've been watching you for some time, Mr. MacDonald.
是的，先生，这让我有点紧张。 Yes, sir. Used to make me kind of nervous.
不再紧张了?没有,先生。 Not nervous anymore? No, sir.
那么你是一个爱喝酒的人吗?先生? Are you a drinking man then? Sir?
这是你昨天工作的一部分。我记得你的号码是112。 This is part of your yesterday's work. I believe your number is 112.
是的,先生。 Yes, sir.
这台计算机几乎是万无一失的，麦克唐纳先生。 The comptometer computing machine is almost foolproof, Mr. MacDonald.
但你在这张单子上少报了一万一千美元。你认为这是什么原因? Yet you managed to miss your total by a little matter of $11,000 on this one sheet. To what do you attribute that?
我不知道，沃特伯里先生。 I don't know, Mr. waterbury.
你对简单的算术很熟悉，是吗? You are familiar with simple arithmetic, aren't you?
我的意思是，你知道加法，减法，甚至乘法的区别。 I mean, you know the difference between addition, subtraction, and possibly even multiplication.
是的，先生，我很擅长。 Yes, sir. I'm pretty good at it.
你家里有麻烦吗? Have you troubles at home then?
你怕老婆吗?正在遭受心碎的折磨? Are you henpecked? Suffering from a broken heart?
你最近检查过牙齿吗?你玩赛马吗? Had your teeth examined lately? Do you play the races?
还是说你根本无法胜任你的工作? Or are you purely and simply incapable of doing your work?
好吧,我……我想是因为比赛，沃特伯里先生。马克斯福德住宅竞赛。 Well, I... I guess it's the contest, Mr. waterbury. The maxford house contest.
我不知道这会影响我的工作。 I had no idea it was hurting my work.
奖金是多少?一等奖是25000美元。 How much is the prize? The first prize is $25,000.
啊,是的。 Ah, yes.
我以前也想过两万五千美元，我该怎么用它，如果我得不到它，我就是个失败者。 I used to think about $25,000, too, and what I'd do with it, that I'd be a failure if I didn't get a hold of it.
然后有一天我意识到我永远也不会有两万五千美元了，麦克唐纳先生。 And then one day I realized I was never going to have $25,000, Mr. MacDonald.
过了一会儿，过了很久，又过了一天，我又意识到另一件事，我现在要告诉你的事，麦克唐纳先生。 And then another day, a little bit later, considerably later, I realized something else, something I am imparting to you now, Mr. MacDonald.
我不是失败者，我是成功者。 I'm not a failure, I'm a success.
你看，雄心壮志如果能起作用是好的，但是如果只有0.5%的人是成功的，其余的人都是失败的，那么任何制度都不可能是正确的。这是不对的。 You see, ambition is all right if it works, but no system could be right where only half of one percent were successes and all the rest were failures. That wouldn't be right.
我不是失败者，我是成功者。 I'm not a failure, I'm a success.
如果你自食其力，付账单，正视这个世界，你也一样。 And so are you if you earn your own living, pay your bills and look the world in the eye.
我希望你能赢得那两万五千美元，麦克唐纳先生，但如果你碰巧没中也不用担心。 I hope you win your $25,000, Mr. MacDonald, but if you shouldn't happen to don't worry about it.
现在滚回你的办公桌，努力提高你的算术。 Now get the heck back to your desk and try to improve your arithmetic.
是的，先生，沃特伯里先生。 Yes, sir, Mr. waterbury.
谢谢你！没关系。 Thank you. That's all right.
哇! Wow!
哦，亲爱的，看!快看,快看! Oh, honey, look! Look, look!
嘿,大家好!嘿,大家好!嘿,大家好!来这里! Hey, everybody! Hey, everybody! Hey, everybody! Come here!
快下来。亲爱的，上来，好吗?上来吧。 Come on down here. Honey, get up here, will you? Get up here.
哇!哇! Wow! Wow!
哦，孩子们，在每个人的生命中，总有那么一刻，你必须站到桌子上，让她尽情地发泄。 Oh, boys and girls, there comes a time in everybody's life when you've just got to get up on top of a desk and let her rip.
哇! Wow!
换句话说，同学们，我刚刚赢得了麦克斯福住宅竞赛的一等奖两万五千美元。 In other words, boys and girls, I've just won the $25,000 first prize in the maxford house contest.
嘿，给我一个电话。给我一个电话。 Hey, give me a phone. Give me a phone.
天啊，这一定很棒。 Boy, this is going to be good.
喂?喂?请给我astoria 59970。 Hello? Hello? Give me astoria 59970.
这真是太棒了。 This is really going to be good.
喂? Hello?
喂?喂?是施瓦兹太太吗?是的。 Hello? Hello? Is this Mrs. Schwartz? Yes.
我是吉米。你好，施瓦茨夫人。 This is Jimmy. Yeah, hello, Mrs. Schwartz.
是的，我不想打扰你，但我能和我妈妈说几句话吗? Yes, I hate to bother you, but could I talk to my mom a minute?
是的，这很重要。谢谢你，施瓦茨夫人。 Yes, it's very important. Thank you, Mrs. Schwartz.
等我有了手机，你想怎么用就怎么用。 I'll let you use my phone all you like when I get one.
喂?妈妈,你好吗?妈妈，这是吉米。 Hello? Hello, mom? Mom, this is Jimmy.
现在,妈妈…妈妈，我要告诉你一件事，但不要让它吓到你。 Now, mom... mom, I'm going to tell you something, but don't let it frighten you.
你没受伤吧?我当然没有受伤。 You're not hurt? Of course I'm not hurt.
妈妈，我会在电车下面给你打电话吗? Mom, would I call you up from under a streetcar?
妈妈，听着。你是富女人还是穷女人? Now, mom, listen. Are you a rich woman or a poor woman?
不，我没有被热疯。我只是问你一个简单的问题。 No, I'm not crazy with the heat. I'm just asking you a simple question.
你是富女人还是穷女人? Are you a rich woman or a poor woman?
你全身湿透了。我说你全身都湿了，妈妈。 You're all wet. Oh, I said you're all wet, mom.
现在,看看。你想买什么就买什么。 Now, look. You can go buy yourself anything you want.
新家具、汽车、新衣服……电动洗衣机。 New furniture, automobiles, new dresses... Electric washer.
哦，电动洗衣机。你知道你喜欢的那个吗，绿色的那个? Oh, electric washer. You know the one you like, the green one?
这是你的，妈妈。达文波特。 It's yours, mom. The Davenport.
达文波特那间，还有晚上变成双人床的那间，都是你的了，妈妈，都是你的。还有你想要的任何东西。 Oh, the Davenport, and the one that turns into a double bed at nighttime, it's yours, mom, it's all yours. And anything else you want.
你只要告诉我，它就是你的了，妈妈。 All you got to do is tell me and it's yours, mom.
这只会让你损失一个达文波特。 It's going to cost you just one Davenport.
我要告诉全世界我加薪了!还有他是怎么加薪的! I'll tell the world I got a raise! And how he got a raise!
让我们结束他的痛苦吧。嘿，去你的，老板。 Let's put him out of his misery. Hey, cheese it, the boss.
这是怎么回事?这是什么，足球比赛吗? What is going on around here? What is this, a football game?
安静!我说，安静! Quiet! I said, quiet!
否则你们所有人都会有严重后果。 Or there will be severe consequences for all of you.
年轻人，你在桌子上干什么? What are you doing up on that desk, young man?
别管你在做什么。你现在就被解雇了，马上。 Never mind what you're doing. You're fired as of now, this minute.
你叫什么名字?詹姆斯·麦克唐纳，先生，这是我的fiancÃ©e，凯西小姐。 What's your name? James MacDonald, sir, and this is my fiancÃ©e, miss Casey.
那你就好好吸取教训吧。 Well, let that be a lesson to you.
这有什么好笑的? What is so funny about that?
这是什么意思，沃特伯里先生? What is the meaning of this demonstration, Mr. waterbury?
我要求一个解释，最好是很好的解释。 I demand an explanation, and it had better be very good.
很好，先生。看来这个小伙子……什么？什么？什么？安静! It is very good, sir. It appears this lad has... What? What? What? Quiet!
巴克斯特先生吗?你想要什么? Mr. Baxter? What do you want?
如果有人应该被解雇，那就是我。 If anyone ought to be fired around here, it's me.
好吧，别管那些高贵的姿态了，这里的规矩由我来决定。 Well, never mind the noble gestures, I'll decide what's what around here.
你可以把漫游者的东西留到你空闲的时候。 You can save that rover boy stuff for your spare time.
一定要给这个年轻人钱，别让这种事再发生了。 See that this young man is paid off, and don't let this type of nonsense reoccur.
巴克斯特先生，有一个很好的理由…这和公司的事务有关系吗? Mr. Baxter, there is a very good reason... Has it anything to do with the affairs of this company?
不，先生，但是……好吧，那我不想再听了。 Well, no, sir, but... Well, then I don't care to hear any more about it.
但你确实想多听一些。 But you do care to hear more about it.
怎么样? How was that?
我说，你确实想多听一些。 I say, you do care to hear more about it.
你不可能明白我说的是什么，否则你不会走开。 You couldn't have understood what was said or you wouldn't have walked away.
这些孩子是你家庭的一部分，巴克斯特先生，发生在他们身上的事也会发生在你身上。 These children are part of your family, Mr. Baxter, and anything that happens to them is happening to you.
所以如果你不想听更多，你一定是误解了。 So if you don't care to hear more about it, you must have misunderstood.
这是怎么回事，沃特伯里? What is all this, waterbury?
这个年轻人，你的小雇员，刚刚赢得了两万五千美元的麦克斯福德之家新标语比赛。 This young man, this minor employee of yours, has just won the $25,000 maxford house new slogan contest.
他，而且只有他一个人在数百万参赛者中脱颖而出。 He, and he alone was chosen winner over millions of contestants.
我说，这就足够让人高兴了。 And I say that is reason enough for rejoicing.
嗯，我应该说是的。 Well, I should say it is.
如果你能从我的家具上下来，我想祝贺你，先生。吉米。吉米。 If you'll kindly get down off my furniture, I'd like to congratulate you, Mr... Jimmy. Jimmy.
祝你好运。谢谢你，先生。 Well, more power to you. Thank you, sir.
现在，我想我得把你重新雇回来，薪水要高得多。 Now, I suppose I'll have to hire you back at a fat increase.
我觉得没必要，巴克斯特先生。 Oh, I don't think that will be necessary, Mr. Baxter.
你看，我一直很喜欢这里，而且……嗯，我想稍微加薪会派上用场的。 You see, I've always liked it here and... Well, I guess a little raise would come in kind of handy.
你真的赢了麦克斯福德房子的比赛，是吗? And you really won the maxford house contest, eh?
电报上是这么说的。 That's what the telegram said.
你说他们想要个新口号什么的? You say they wanted a new slogan or something?
是的,先生。 Yes, sir.
是时候换掉旧的了。 Well, it's about time they changed the old one.
你的口号是什么? What was your slogan?
如果你晚上睡不着，那不是咖啡的问题，而是床铺的问题。 If you don't sleep at nights, it isn't the coffee, it's the bunk.
你明白了吗?这是一个文字游戏。 Do you get it? It's a play on words.
意思是，如果你晚上不睡觉…是的，但是咖啡会让你保持清醒。不不不，先生。 It means, if you don't sleep at night... Yeah, but coffee keeps you awake. No, no, no, sir.
你看，这个科学家…好吧，这是一个非常聪明的想法。 You see, this scientist that was... well, it's a very clever idea just the same.
“不是咖啡的问题，是床铺的问题。” "It isn't the coffee, it's the bunk."
这对整个行业来说都是好事。 You know, that ought to be good for the whole industry.
当你在为我们的竞争对手设计口号时，你不会碰巧为巴克斯特父子公司想出什么点子吧? You didn't happen to get any ideas for Baxter and sons, did you, while you were inventing slogans for our competitors?
你知道，我们也煮咖啡。当然了，巴克斯特先生。 We make coffee, too, you know. I certainly did, Mr. Baxter.
自从我来到这里，我就一直想把他们告诉广告部。 I've been trying to tell them to the advertising department ever since I've been here.
我想我已经去过那里一千次了，直到我想他们有点讨厌我了。你看，我们的广告做得不够。 I guess I've been down there about a thousand times, till I guess they got kind of sick of me. You see, we don't advertise enough.
你愿意到我的办公室来告诉我一些这些想法吗? How would you like to come into my office and tell me a few of these ideas?
是的，先生。哦，吉米。 Yes, sir. Oh, Jimmy.
你也可以来，亲爱的。 You can come, too, my dear.
然后我会推出一个二级品牌来抓住中间交易。 And then I'd put out a secondary brand to catch the in-between-trade.
说，“waterbury’s，是浆果。” Say, "waterbury's, it's the berries."
“沃特伯里”是什么意思?好了，沃特伯里，让他说下去吧。 What do you mean "waterbury"? Now, waterbury, let him go on.
因为，如果巴克斯特是最好的，我们就得收更多的钱。 Because, if Baxter's is the best, we've got to charge more for it.
我们得为它想出一个好口号。口口相传是可以的，但前提是你有合适的词语。记下来，佩特帕斯小姐。 We've got to have a good slogan for it. Word of mouth is all right, but only if you've got the right words. Make a note of that miss pettypass.
我试着找到一个暗示巴克斯特是同类中最好的口号。 I'd try to find a slogan that'd implied that Baxter's was the finest of its class.
说，哦，不是贵族咖啡，那被用得太多了，而是，说，“蓝血咖啡”。 Say, oh, not the aristocrat of coffee, that's been used too much, but, say, "the blueblood coffee.
“它是在豆子里培育出来的。看到了吗?好像每颗豆子……好像我们咖啡里的每一颗豆都有自己的血统。 "It's bred in the bean. see? As if every bean... As if every bean in our coffee had a pedigree.
“巴克斯特最好的，蓝血咖啡。” "Baxter's best, the blueblood coffee."
“它是在豆子里培育出来的。” "It's bred in the bean."
太棒了! Wonderful!
那个怎么样，詹金斯? How about that one, Jenkins?
唯一的问题是我自己没有想到。 The only trouble with it is I didn't think of it myself.
“它是在豆子里培育出来的。”我在全国各地都能看到。 "It's bred in the bean." I can see it all over the nation.
在每一个角落和戴尔。 In every nook and Dell.
吉米，你真是个天才。 Jimmy, you're a genius.
既然你是资本家，我不知道你对为生计而工作有什么看法，但如果你愿意在这里有个小办公室……你是说对我自己?门上有他的名字? Now that you're a capitalist, I don't know how you feel about working for a living, but if you'd care to have a little office here... You mean to myself? With his name on the door?
当然，门上写着他的名字，还有这位年轻女士做你的秘书。 Naturally, with his name on the door, and this young lady as your secretary.
合理的津贴稍后再定。 And a reasonable stipend to be determined upon later.
我看我们现在没有理由不就此握手言和。 I see no reason why we shouldn't shake hands on it now.
说吧，吉米。天啊，巴克斯特先生，我会的。我会怎么做呢? Go ahead, Jimmy. Well, gee whiz, Mr. Baxter, I should say I would. And how, I would.
现在我想你想请个下午的假，让我们把你的办公室收拾好吧? And now I suppose you'd like to have the afternoon off while we get your office ready?
非常感谢，巴克斯特先生。 Well, I'd certainly appreciate it, Mr. Baxter.
她也能一起来吗?她当然可以。 Can she come along, too? Why, of course she can.
一只小鸟告诉我你要先去哪一家店。 And a little bird tells me what kind of store you're going be visiting first.
我猜是个小珠宝店吧? A little jewelry store I'll wager, eh?
我想你说得没错，巴克斯特先生，但我想首先我要去马克斯福德家拿那张小支票。 I guess you're not far wrong, Mr. Baxter, but first of all I think I'll go over to maxford house and pick up that little check.
哦,是的。我们差点忘了这一点，不是吗? Oh, yes. We'd almost forgotten about that, hadn't we?
差不多了，但不完全是。 Almost, but not quite.
你的maxford house口号是什么来着? What was your maxford house slogan again?
“不是床铺的问题，是咖啡的问题。” "It isn't the bunk, it's the coffee."
啊,是的。不,不。 Ah, yes. No, no.
“不是咖啡的问题，是床铺的问题。” "It isn't the coffee, it's the bunk."
这不是很奇妙吗? Isn't that marvelous?
“如果你晚上不睡觉，那就不是……这是……” "If you don't sleep at night, it isn't the... it's the..."
是的，但“它是在豆子里培育出来的。” Yes, but "it's bred in the bean."
这是我最喜欢的。功能。 That's the one for my money. Functional.
精确。 Precisely.
巴克斯特先生，我非常感谢你。 Well, Mr. Baxter, I certainly thank you.
我不知道该说什么。 I don't know what to say.
也谢谢你，詹金斯先生。 And thank you, too, Mr. Jenkins.
和你一起工作会很愉快。 It'll be a great pleasure working with you.
谢谢你，沃特伯里先生。谢谢你，巴布科克先生。 And thank you, Mr. waterbury. And thank you, Mr. Babcock.
谢谢你，佩特帕斯小姐还有…和方式。 And thank you, miss pettypass and... And how.
好吧,再见。再见。 Well, goodbye. Goodbye.
——再见。——再见。 - Goodbye. - Goodbye.
再见。 Goodbye.
-美好的未来。——巨大的。 - A big future. - Immense.
我注意他有一段时间了。 I've had my eye on him for some time.
嗯? Huh?
嘿，看，孩子。什么？ Say, look, kid. What?
我能跟你谈谈吗?这很重要。 Could I talk to you for a moment? It's kind of important.
喂，你明天能告诉我吗? Say, could you tell me tomorrow?
我得去马克斯福德家拿我的支票。 I've got to go over to maxford house and pick up my check.
他们可能会觉得我不感激什么的。 They might think I wasn't grateful or something.
这正是我想说的。 Well, that's what I wanted to talk about.
你看，哈利、迪克和我……嗯…好吧,什么?嗯，是这样的。 You see, Harry and dick and I... well... Well, what? Well, it's like this.
-你看，我们…-哦，麦克唐纳! - You see, we... - Oh, MacDonald!
是的,先生? Yes, sir?
你是说"它是在豆子里繁殖的"还是简单地说"它是在豆子里繁殖的"? Was that "it's bred in the bean" or just plain "bred in the bean"?
"It's。"你看，简单的"bred in the bean"听起来可能像面包，你知道的，就像涂了黄油的面包。 "It's." you see, just plain "bred in the bean" might sound like bread, you know, like bread and butter.
当然，我不知道为什么我没有意识到这一点。 Naturally, I don't know why I didn't realize it.
好了，就这些吗，先生?是的，当然。 Well, is that all, sir? Yes, of course.
玩得开心，不要把所有的钱都花在一个地方。 Have a nice time and don't spend all your money in one place.
谢谢你，先生。再见。再见。 Thank you, sir. Goodbye. Goodbye.
再见。 Goodbye.
伟大的心灵。你想跟我说话吗，达西? Great mind. Did you wish to speak to me, Darcy?
我谁?不，先生，我只是看着他们出去。我…今天真是令人兴奋的一天，不是吗? Who me? Oh, no, sir. I was just watching them go out. I... Well, it's been quite an exciting day, hasn't it?
是啊，而且还没结束呢。 Yeah, and it ain't even over yet.
我说"你可以待在这里直到霍博肯冰封" And I said, "you can stay here till hoboken freezes over."
我早该把他们都炒了。 I should have fired the whole bunch of them.
我感到羞愧。 I was mortified.
商业史上最重要的时刻被一群吹口哨的人搞砸了，他们不知道什么是口号，什么是用尖棍子戳眼睛。 The biggest moment in commercial annals muffed by a gang of horse whistlers who wouldn't know a slogan from a poke in the eye with a pointed stick.
我想我会尴尬死的。我真希望他们死于牙关紧闭。 I thought I'd die of embarrassment. I wish they'd died of lockjaw.
这些比赛到底有什么好处? What good are these contests, anyway?
他们破坏了整个组织，给你树敌无数，而他们只能证明你一开始就赚了太多钱。 They disrupt the entire organization, they make you millions of enemies, and all they prove is that you're making too much money in the first place.
因为你可以把一大块扔给一个笨蛋，他可能一辈子都没喝过你的咖啡，但靠羊奶为生。 Since you can afford to toss a large chunk to some saphead who probably never had a cup of your coffee in his life, but lives on goat's milk.
他们作出裁决了吗?我不知道，也不在乎。 Have they reached a verdict yet? I don't know and I don't care.
现在，如果他们推迟到我们的下一个广播…不,不。这是明智的做法。 Now, maybe if they hold off until our next broadcast... No, no. That would be the intelligent thing to do.
这对为他们提供衣食和送孩子上大学的公司很有用，这样他们长大后就能像他们的父母一样成为哑铃。 That will be useful to the company that clothes and feeds them and sends their children to college, so they can grow up and be dumbbells like their parents.
你想要什么?比赛的冠军来了，麦克斯福德医生。 Well, what do you want? The contest winner is here, Dr. maxford.
比赛的获胜者是谁?是的,先生。 The contest winner? Yes, sir.
嗯，你觉得那件怎么样? Well, how do you like that one?
首先，他们把一年中最大的一勺装在瓶子里，然后当他们准备好了，他们……好吧，让他进来! First they bottle up the biggest scoop of the year and then when they get good and ready, they... All right, send him in!
你现在可以进去了。谢谢。 You can go in now. Thanks.
哦，我想我最好在这里等。请进。 Oh, I guess I'd better wait here. Come on in.
嗯,没有。也许你最好在这里等。 Well, no. Maybe you had better wait here.
我想我们都有点兴奋了。我想你会的。 I guess we're a little excited. I should think you would be.
祝贺你。谢谢。我是说，对他来说。 Congratulations. Thanks. I mean, for him.
为了我们俩。 For both of us.
好。 Well.
在所有的困惑中……来inl ! Of all the confounded... Come inl!
您好，先生。 How do you do, sir.
我想我很荣幸能和麦克斯福博士讲话。 I suppose I have the honor of addressing Dr. maxford, I presume.
没错，这是唐·哈特曼，我的播音员。 That's right, and this is Don hartman, my announcer.
哈特曼先生，很高兴见到你。 Well, Mr. hartman, it certainly is a pleasure to meet you.
我很欣赏你在节目中的个性。 I've certainly enjoyed your personality on the air.
哦。恭喜你。谢谢你！ Oh. Congratulations to you. Thank you.
这是电报，麦克斯福先生。maxford博士。 Here's the telegram, Mr. maxford. Dr. maxford.
是的，是的，是的。 Yes, yes, yes.
哦,是的。“很高兴通知你……25000美元。 Oh, yes. "Great pleasure informing you... $25,000.
“请打电话来取你的支票。” "Kindly call and pick up your check."
比尔多克有很强的戏剧感。 Bildocker has a great sense of the dramatic.
麦克唐纳先生，你不会是一个爱喝咖啡的人吧? You aren't by any chance a coffee drinker are you, Mr. MacDonald?
是的，先生，我当然是。嗯，这很令人惊讶。 Yes, sir, I certainly am. Well, that's surprising.
你不会碰巧喝了我的咖啡吧? You don't by any chance drink my coffee, do you?
不，先生，你看，我…哦，是的，那听起来更自然。 Well, no, sir. You see, I... oh, yes, that sounds more natural.
但我可以轻易改变。不必了，麦克唐纳先生。 But I could easily change. That won't be necessary, Mr. MacDonald.
我不想让任何人认为我有任何基本的商业动机，我只是把钱捐出去，因为我晚上睡不着。 I wouldn't want anybody to think that I had any base commercial motives in all this, I just give money away because I can't sleep at night.
我问心有愧。这是我的口号。我赢的那个。 I have a guilty conscience. That's my slogan. The one I won with.
好吧，我想你都知道了。问心有愧，是吗? Oh, well, I guess you know all about that. A guilty conscience, eh?
我可以看出我的钱花得很值。这是一个伟大的口号。 I can see that my money is well spent. That's a great slogan.
不，不，先生。 No, no, sir.
“如果你晚上睡不着，不是咖啡的问题，而是床铺的问题。” "If you can't sleep at night, it isn't the coffee, it's the bunk."
你说什么?这是个双关语。 I beg your pardon? It's a pun.
当然是。太棒了。 It certainly is. It's great.
谢谢你！我等不及要把钱给你了。 Thank you. I can hardly wait to give you my money.
把比赛支票拿来。 Bring me that contest check.
我不知道你有没有经历过这样的事，麦克斯福德医生，但前一分钟还是个穷光蛋默默无闻的人下一分钟就坐上了世界之巅， I don't know whether you've ever had anything like this happen to you, Dr. maxford, but to be poor and unknown one minute and be sitting on top of the world the next minute,
这种感觉是任何人都无法从我身上夺走的。 that's a feeling that nobody can ever take away from me.
好吧,我……知道我赢得这场比赛是因为我比任何人都想到了一个更好的口号，这对我来说比世界上任何事情都重要，我来告诉你为什么……如果你愿意…… Well, I... To know I won this contest because I thought of a better slogan than anyone else means more to me than anything else on earth, and I'll tell you why... If you will...
你看，我曾经认为也许我有好主意，会在世界上有所成就，但现在我知道了。 You see, I used to think maybe I had good ideas and was going to get somewhere in the world, but now I know it.
这就是我要感谢你的原因，麦克斯福德医生，比钱还要感谢你。 And that's what I want to thank you for, Dr. maxford, even more than the money.
这是你想要的吗，麦克斯福德医生，两万五千美元的那个? Is this the one you wanted, Dr. maxford, the $25,000 one?
这是正确的。他们什么时候选出获胜者的? That's right. When did they choose a winner?
我不知道……我不知道! I didn't know... I don't know!
当然，他们不会费心通知我这些事情。 They don't bother to inform me about these things, of course.
詹姆斯·麦克唐纳。是"m-a-c"还是"m-c"? James MacDonald. Is that "m-a-c" or "m-c"?
是m-a-c，先生。 It's m-a-c, sir. Oh, yes.
我的祖母是苏格兰人。 My, my grandmother was Scottish.
我说的是立陶宛语。 Mine was Lithuanian.
给你，年轻人。 Here you are, young man.
在这种情况下，通常会有几个摄影师、几个记者、甚至新闻摄录机和广播设备在场， It is customary under these circumstances to have a few photographers present, a couple of reporters and even newsreels and broadcasting machinery,
但由于我们在这里做的一切都是在一架非常高的非商业飞机上进行的，我很高兴给你这张小支票，麦克唐纳先生。 but since we do everything around here on a very high non-commercial plane, I merely take pleasure in giving you this small check, Mr. MacDonald.
这就是它的全部。谢谢你，麦克斯福德医生。 And that's all there is to it. Thank you, Dr. maxford.
我不知道怎么才能找到合适的语言……好吧，别管他们。 I don't know how I could ever find words... Well, never mind about them.
再见，祝你好运。 Just goodbye and good luck.
哦,男孩。 Oh, boy.
-现在给我找bildocker!-是的，先生。 - Now get me bildocker! - Yes, sir.
哦,哎呀。 Oh, gee.
她有点兴奋。是的。 She's a little bit excited. Yes.
他像冰一样冷静。 He's as cool as ice.
好吧,再见。再见。 Well, goodbye. Goodbye.
再见。再见。 Goodbye. Goodbye.
是的。 Yes.
比尔多克先生不在办公室，麦克斯福德医生。 Mr. bildocker isn't in his office, Dr. maxford.
那他怎么不在办公室? Well, why isn't he in his office?
他在哪里，在大厅玩弹珠游戏吗? Where is he, down in the lobby playing marble games?
你找到他，告诉他…不要紧。等我见到他，我会亲自告诉他"不是咖啡的问题，是床的问题" You find him and tell him... Never mind. I'll tell him myself when I see him "it isn't the coffee, it's the bunk."
哦，是不是很漂亮，吉米? Oh, isn't it beautiful, Jimmy?
天哪，我得说确实如此。 Holy smoke, I should say it is.
当然，这只是一件小事。 Of course, this is a trifle on the large side.
现在，这是一块更实用的石头。 Now, here is a stone of more practical dimensions.
脾气暴躁的小恶魔，不是吗? Fiery little devil, isn't it?
放大镜配吗? The magnifying glass go with it?
当然，这完全取决于你。我只是想帮忙，仅此而已。 Of course it's entirely up to you. I was only trying to be helpful, that's all.
对我来说，你看的戒指有多大并不重要。 It's immaterial to me how big a ring you look at.
现在……等一下。 Now how about... just a minute.
新鲜的人。 Fresh guy.
比如，你觉得这个怎么样? What do you think of this, for instance?
多少钱?一万二千美元，我可不想花那么多。 How much is it? $12,000 I wouldn't care to spend that much.
哦，你不会的。不。 Oh, you wouldn't. No.
但只要我想，我就可以。哦，你可以? But I could if I felt like it. Oh, you could?
哦。 Oh.
那一切就完全不同了。 Well, that puts everything on an entirely different basis.
现在，让我看看。我爱上她了。 Now, let me see. I'm in love with this one.
哦，你觉得够花哨吗? Oh, do you think it's showy enough?
我可不想太过炫耀。哦,是的。 I wouldn't want it to be showy. Oh, yes.
不可否认，这是一篇友好的小文章。 Well, there's no denying it's a friendly, little piece.
好吧，那我们就买下它吧。是的,先生。 Well, then, I guess we'll take it. Yes, sir.
吉米。 Jimmy.
当然，我没带现金，但是……但我这里有张支票。我可以看看吗? Of course, I haven't got any cash with me, but... But I've got a check here. May I see it, please?
确定。 Sure.
好吧，施密特先生，请您马上到这边来好吗? Oh, well, Mr. schmidt, will you step this way immediately, if you please?
好吧，好吧，好吧。我赢了麦克斯福德房屋竞赛。 Well, well, well. I won the maxford house contest.
这不是很棒吗?好吧，狗我的猫，我应该说它是。 Isn't it wonderful? Well, dog my cats, I should say it is.
万分祝贺。两万五千恭喜你。 A thousand congratulations. Twenty-five thousand congratulations.
看在上帝的份上……施密特先生! For heaven's sakes... Mr. schmidt!
好的，好的，希尔贝纳先生，我马上就到。 Yes, yes, Mr. hillbeiner, I'll be there presently.
那就切个槽吧，好吗?先生。 Well, kindly cut a groove, will you? Sir.
Hillbeiner又喝酒了。 Hillbeiner has been drinking again.
是吗? Yes?
辛德尔兄弟，想知道你那张两万五千美元的支票是否有效，麦克斯福德医生。 Shindel bros. Wants to know if that $25,000 check of yours is good, Dr. maxford.
他们说"好吗"是什么意思? What do they mean, "is it good"?
告诉他们我随时会和他们比一比，给他们6比4的赔率。 Tell them I'll match mine against theirs any day, and give them six-to-four.
是的，先生。好吃吗? Yes, sir. Is it good?
开始。davenola。现在，请仔细观察。 Commence. The davenola. Now, watch closely.
我只是移开两个坐垫，把手指放在标有“晚上”的按钮上， I merely remove two cushions, place my finger on the button marked "night,"
在标有“白天”的按钮旁边，反之亦然，只要手指轻轻一按，我们就有了一张双人床，一个收音机，一个烟灰缸，供在床上吸烟的人使用， which is next to the button marked "day," and vice versa, and with one easy push of the finger, we have a double bed, a radio, an ashtray for those who smoke in bed,
为最贪心的读者准备一盏台灯，一部电话，以及其他多得难以计数的配件。 a reading lamp for the most voracious reader, a telephone, and any other accessories too numerous to mention.
停下来只是为了把枕套套在白天的靠垫上， Pausing merely to slip a pillowslip over the day cushion,
我们完成了蜕变。 we complete the metamorphosis.
一切都在指尖控制之下。 Everything under fingertip control throughout.
人类的聪明才智是无限的。 There is no limit to man's ingenuity.
那不是很棒吗?明天就到了。 Isn't that wonderful? Comes the morrow.
轻轻一挥手腕， A flick of the wrist,
彻底的通风。 a thorough airing.
轻轻地按一下标有“日”的按钮， A gentle pressure on the button marked "day,"
瞧，就像法国人说的。 and voila, as the French would say.
准备好享用一顿充满活力的早餐，浏览一本书，或者打一场温和的桥牌。 Ready for the invigorating breakfast, the browsing book, or the gentle game of bridge.
价格198.50加税。我们买下它了。 The price 198.50 plus tax. We'll take it.
你得到了多么划算的交易啊。你说什么? And what a bargain you're getting. I beg your pardon?
我是辛德尔先生，麦克唐纳先生。 I'm Mr. shindel, Mr. MacDonald.
恭喜你，这是你的支票。 Congratulations, here's your check.
多好的支票啊。谢谢。对了，你多久能寄过来? And what a check. Thanks. Say, how soon can you send it?
妈妈一直想要它。它的存在。 Mom's been wanting it so long. It's there.
来点特别的，山里人。是的,先生。 Make that a special, hillbeiner. Yes, sir.
你觉得你妈妈会喜欢吗? Do you suppose your mother would like one?
不用了，谢谢你，吉米。我们没有地方了。 Oh, no, thank you, Jimmy. We haven't got room.
我们得给她买点东西。我们得给每个人买点东西。 We've got to get her something. We've got to get everybody something.
妈妈一直想要个新熨斗。 Well, mama's been wanting a new iron for a long time.
她知道了。你有熨斗吗? She's got it. Have you got irons?
我们有熨斗吗? Have we got irons?
他们什么都做，就是不唱歌。 They do everything but sing.
我们得给施瓦兹太太买点东西，给索菲，给齐默尔曼老先生，给凯西家的孩子们买个娃娃。你不怕花太多钱吗? Say, we've got to get something for Mrs. Schwartz, a doll for Sophie, old Mr. Zimmerman, the Casey kids. Aren't you afraid of spending too much?
哦,无稽之谈。芬尼根家的孩子。还有墨菲巡警。 Oh, nonsense. The Finnegan kids. And patrolman Murphy.
托尼mezeppo。还有罗森布拉特先生。 Tony mezeppo. And Mr. rosenblatt.
听着，我们最好只在街的这一边工作，在街的另一边工作，这样我们就不会忘记任何人。哦,吉米。 Look, we'd better just work up one side of the street and down the other, that way we won't forget anybody. Oh, Jimmy.
我不想不付钱就拿走这些东西，辛德尔先生。 I don't like to take all this without paying for it, Mr. shindel.
胡说，麦克唐纳先生。 Nonsense, Mr. MacDonald.
一个诚实的人我们一眼就能看出来，不是吗，孩子们? We know an honest man when we see one, don't we, boys?
是的,确实。 Yes, indeed.
你拿着这张支票，把找零给我好吗? Why don't you take this check and give me the change?
我们应该有零钱来付这种支票。 We should have change for such a check.
原谅我。 Excuse me.
真划算。谢谢你！ What a bargain. Thank you.
好吧，辛德尔先生，我把钱存到银行后就给你拿支票来。 Well, Mr. shindel, I'll bring you a check as soon as I put this in the bank.
谁赶时间?随时来坐坐。明天来坐坐。 Who's in a hurry? Drop in anytime. Drop in tomorrow.
这是花，辛德尔先生。谢谢你！ Here are the flowers, Mr. Shindel. Thank you.
小纪念品。谢谢你！ Little souvenir. Thank you.
别忘了再打电话来，麦克唐纳先生。不，先生，我不会的。 Don't forget to call again, Mr. MacDonald. No, sir, I won't.
再见。再见，辛德尔先生。 Goodbye. Goodbye, Mr. shindel.
再见，辛德尔先生。再见。 Goodbye, Mr. shindel. Goodbye.
再见。 Goodbye.
再见，施密特先生。再见，麦克唐纳先生。 Goodbye, Mr. schmidt. Goodbye, Mr. MacDonald.
再见，施密特先生。再见。 Goodbye, Mr. schmidt. Goodbye.
再见，希尔海默先生。Hillbeiner。 Goodbye, Mr. hillbeimer. Hillbeiner.
再见，海比尔默先生。 Goodbye, Mr. heillbimer.
山……很接近了。 Hill... that's close enough.
再见。 Goodbye.
再来看看我们，好吗?谢谢你！再见。 Come and see us again, won't you? Thank you. Goodbye.
再见。 Goodbye.
你的行李都拿齐了吗? Have you got all your bundles now?
再见。再见。 Goodbye. Goodbye.
再见,再见。 Bye, bye.
真是个好孩子。多好的生意啊。 What a boy. What a business.
哦，我太高兴了。 Oh, I'm so happy.
我自己感觉还不错。 I feel kind of good myself.
我们到那儿时，你能看到每个人脸上的表情吗? Can you see the faces on everybody when we get there?
是的，就像七月的圣诞节。 Yeah, like Christmas in July.
好吧，新年快乐。 Well, happy new year.
从现在开始，这将是一个快乐的新年。 It will be a happy new year, too, from now on.
一切都是新的、干净的、不同的。 Everything new and clean and different.
想想看，吉米，别再担心了。这是正确的。 Just think, Jimmy, no more worry. That's right.
这是贫穷唯一可怕的地方。 That's the only terrible thing about being poor.
我们会有一个什么样的房子?你喜欢哪种都行。 What kind of a house are we going to have? Any kind you like.
顶层公寓怎么样?他们来的有点高，不是吗? How about a penthouse? They come kind of high, don't they?
哦，不，我不认为……哦，你这个傻瓜。 Oh, no, I don't think... Oh, you fool.
你会永远爱我吗?当然，我会的。 Would you love me for always? Of course, I will.
永永远远?我不知道为什么。 For always and always? I don't know why not.
可能会很长时间。 It might be a long time.
时间越长越甜蜜，宝贝。 The longer, the sweeter, baby.
然后他说:“妈妈，你全身都湿了。你可以买任何你想要的东西。 And then he says, "mom, you're all wet. You can buy anything you want.
“一辆汽车，新衣服，家具，达文波特，还有任何东西。” "An automobile, new dresses, furniture, the Davenport, and anything."
我知道。我的欧文，他也喝酒。偶尔会有一点。 I know. My Irving, he drinks, too. Once in a while a little bit.
一点也不少……是的，我知道，但是吉米不知道。 Not so little... Yes, I know, but Jimmy doesn't.
除非发生了什么可怕的事，否则我无法想象他会喝酒。 I can't think of him taking a drink unless something terrible happened.
他可能丢了工作。但他说他加薪了。 Might'll be he lost his job. But he said he got a raise.
加薪呢?现在是谁在加薪? A raise? Who's giving raises those days?
我想不出发生了什么事。 I can't think what has happened.
他们要把他带回家。 They're bringing him home.
-斯威格，谁问你了?-哦，斯威格。 - Schweig still, who asked you something? - Oh, schweig.
别担心，亲爱的。 Don't you worry, dear.
也许只是一个小事故，也许只是一条腿……或者是手指。 Maybe just a little accident, maybe just a leg... or a finger.
快过来。快点。快来。 Come here, quick. Hurry up. Come quick.
这是什么?一个葬礼。 What is it? A funeral.
嘿，妈妈，快下来!你也是，施瓦茨夫人。 Hey, mom, come on down! You, too, Mrs. Schwartz.
你也是，妈妈。我们为每个人准备了礼物。 You, too, mama. We've got presents for everybody.
他是喝醉了。吉米! He's drunk. Jimmy!
我很好，妈妈!快下来! I'm all right, mom! Come on down!
看！ Look!
有人受伤了吗?吉米·麦克唐纳乘出租车回家。 Was somebody hurt? Jimmy MacDonald came home in a taxicab.
等一下。我有个大惊喜要给你。 Wait a minute. I got a big surprise for you.
我想从苏菲开始。 I want to start with Sophie.
小心,现在。 Careful, now.
苏菲，我有礼物给你。给我吗? I've got a present for you, Sophie. For me?
是的，打开它。 Yes, open it up.
等一下。别紧张。 Wait a minute. Take it easy.
别紧张。我想每个人都有适合自己的东西。 Take it easy. There's something for everybody, I think.
妈妈! Mom!
哦，发生什么事了?你受伤了吗? Oh, what's happened? Are you hurt?
这是怎么回事?妈妈，我没有骗你。 What's going on here? Mom, I wasn't lying to you.
达文波特号正在特快专递的路上。 The Davenport is on the way by special delivery.
等着瞧吧，妈妈。那你确实加薪了。 Oh, wait till you see it, mom. Oh, then you did get a raise.
哦,荣耀。 Oh, glory.
这是给你的。哦,妈妈。 This for you. Oh, mom.
你为什么不清醒点呢?你以为你是谁啊? Why don't you get wise to yourself? Who do you think you are anyway?
如果我们11个人都够好，你凭什么说…它很臭。什么？ If it's good enough for the 11 of us, who are you to say that... It stinks. What?
它很臭。他很臭。 It stinks. He stinks.
你再敢出声，阿巴斯特，我就打爆你的鼻子。 One more crack out of you, arbuster, and I'll bust you right in the nose.
好吧，让我们看看你怎么做。好吧，我会的，你这个蛇眼…在你血管破裂之前坐下。坐下，骗子。 All right, let's see you do it. All right, I will, you snake-eyed... Sit down before you burst a blood vessel. Sit down, bildocker.
现在让我们友好地谈谈这件事。 Now let's talk this over in a nice, friendly way.
华丽而圆润……这正是医生的要求。 Magnificent and mellow... It's just what the doctor ordered.
它简洁、顺滑、辛辣。 It's brief, it's smooth, it's pungent.
这是令人厌恶的。为什么会腐烂，船主? It's putrid. Why is it putrid, bildocker?
因为它很臭。 Because it stinks.
你说他没回来是什么意思?他怎么还没回来? What do you mean, he isn't back? Why isn't he back?
他在哪里?在理发店? Where is he? In a barbershop?
别理他。叫他去把脑袋泡在桶里。 Never mind him. Tell him to go soak his head in a barrel.
-阿巴斯特先生在吗?-不，先生。 - Is Mr. arbuster there? - No, sir.
那他为什么不在那儿?大家都去哪儿打台球了? Well, why isn't he there? Where is everybody, playing pool?
格罗布先生在吗?没有,先生。 Is Mr. groble there? No, sir.
他不是吗?他在做什么手术? He isn't? Well, what's he having an operation?
这到底是什么公司?他在比赛室，麦克斯福德医生。 What kind of a firm is this anyway? He's in the contest room, Dr. maxford.
你说他在比赛室是什么意思? What do you mean, he's in the contest room?
比赛结束了。 The contest is over.
他还在下面呢，麦克斯福德医生。 He's down there just the same, Dr. maxford.
他们在下面干什么，打扑克吗? What are they doing down there, playing poker?
没关系，我自己去找。 Never mind, I'll find out myself.
胡说八道。 Horsefeathers.
别这么粗俗，骗子。这一次。 Don't be vulgar, bildocker. For once.
你是谁? Who are yous?
你们在争论什么呢?你惹的麻烦还不够多吗? Well, what are you arguing about now? Haven't you made enough trouble?
现在一切都结束了，我想知道你能不能回你的办公室试着卖点咖啡换换口味。还是我太商业化了? Now that it's over, I wondered if you'd be kind enough to get back to your offices and try and sell a little coffee for a change. Or am I being too commercial?
既然我谈到了这个话题，我只想告诉你们在我有幸看到的所有蠢蛋群体中， And while I'm on that subject, I just want to tell you that of all the congregations of fatheads that I've ever had the pleasure of gazing upon,
所以吻别吧，回到你们的办公室去吧! so kiss each other goodbye and get back to your offices!
除了你，骗子。你跟我来。 All except you, bildocker. You come with me.
那比赛呢?嗯，怎么样? Then what about the contest? Well, what about it?
既然你已经杀了它，你还需要对它进行尸检吗? Now that you've killed it, do you have to hold a post-mortem on it?
你不想让我们选出一个赢家吗?你选了一个赢家? Don't you want us to choose a winner? You chose a winner?
谁选出了赢家?我们当然没有选出赢家。 Who chose a winner? We certainly did not choose a winner.
你确实选了一个赢家。 Well, you certainly did choose a winner.
什么叫你没选赢家? What do you mean, you didn't choose a winner?
我是说，我们还没得出结论呢。 I mean, we haven't reached a verdict yet.
你们还没有做出裁决吗?没有,先生。 You haven't reached a verdict yet? No, sir.
看来你们已经做出了裁决。 Well, you certainly have reached a verdict yet.
你说你们还没做出裁决是什么意思? What do you mean, you haven't reached a verdict yet?
你是想站在那里告诉我你们还没有做出裁决吗? Are you trying to stand there and tell me that you haven't reached a verdict yet?
我们没有。 We have not.
那你为什么给他发电报说他赢了? Then why did you send him a telegram telling him he'd won?
回答我!给谁打个电报? Answer me that! Send who a telegram?
Mctavish吗?我们没有发送任何…mctavish是谁?你没有发任何…你确实发了一封电报。我们当然没有发电报。 Mctavish? We didn't send any... Who's mctavish? You didn't send any... Well, you certainly did send a telegram. Well, we certainly did not send a telegram.
你没有吗? You didn't?
那么，谁，谁……跳耶路撒冷。 Well, then, who, who... Jumping Jerusalem.
叫我的律师来!哪一个? Get my lawyers! Which ones?
舒默，瘦子，Abercrombie和schlitz!叫警察来! Schumer, slimmer, Abercrombie and schlitz! Get the police!
是的，先生，安静! Yes, sir. Quiet!
帮我找辛德尔兄弟!是的,先生。 Get me shindel bros.! Yes, sir.
在这种时刻，最重要的是保持冷静和镇定。 The important thing at a moment like this is to keep cool and collected.
收集。惊讶的感叹词!好了，好了，别激动。把电话存入银行。 Collected. Holy Moses! Now, now, don't get excited. Bank the call.
银行接电话?打电话给银行。 Bank the call? Call the bank.
你怎么了?神圣的鲭鱼。 What's the matter with you? Holy mackerel.
什么？把你的帽子给我。 What? Give me your hat.
给我接明斯克，牛奶，粉红和明斯克。什么样的帽子，辛德尔先生? Get me Minsk, milsk, pinsk and Minsk. What kind of a hat, Mr. shindel?
买顶帽子。是的,先生。 Get a hat. Yes, sir.
真正的帽子。是的,先生。 Real hat. Yes, sir.
停! Stop!
停止。 Stop.
没有,走吧! No, go!
我们和你一起去。 And we'll go with you.
吉米，我快没钱了。 Jimmy, I'm running low.
又来了一箱。哦,很好。 Got another load. Oh, good.
玛丽?玛丽在哪儿?在这里。 Mary? Where's Mary? Over here.
好的，玛丽。 All right, Mary.
玛莎。玛莎，你来了。 Marsha. Marsha, there you are.
没有人被遗忘。那边小心点，莉齐。在这里。 Nobody's been forgotten. Now be careful over there, Lizzie. Here.
现在把它捡起来! Pick it up now!
你忘了给自己买礼物了。什么？ You forgot to get a present for yourself. What?
我说你忘了给自己买礼物。 I said you forgot to get a present for yourself.
我想要什么礼物?我抓住你了。 What do I want a present for? I've got you.
好吧，走吧，出去拿点东西。看,吉米。 Well, come on, get out and grab something. Look, Jimmy.
你的达文波特来了，妈妈。什么？ Here comes your Davenport, mom. What?
你的达文波特。等一下，看看就知道了。 Your Davenport. Wait, till you see it.
来吧，抓住他们。 Come on, get them.
把它们拿走。 Take them away.
嘿,你…… Hey, you...
你为什么要破坏我的飞机? Hey, what's the idea of busting up my plane?
是啊，那刚好是我的飞机。"你的飞机"是什么意思? Yeah, well, it happens to be my plane. What do you mean, "your plane"?
吉米·麦克唐纳给我的。 Jimmy MacDonald give it to me.
等我搞定那个吉米·麦克唐纳这是怎么回事?警官，把这些人都抓起来。 Yeah, and when I get through with that Jimmy MacDonald... What's going on around here? Officer, I want all these people arrested.
你以为你是谁?希特勒吗? Who do you think you are? Hitler?
听我说，你…好吧，你听我说，宝贝。 Now, listen to me, you... yeah, well, you listen to me, baby.
你就不能做点什么吗? Well, can't you do something?
说,嘿……不,不!妈妈!我们需要抓住它。 Say, hey... No, no! Mama! We need to take it.
你为什么不来帮我呢? Why don't you come and help me?
不,不。妈妈!你知道你在干什么吗? No, no. Mama! Just what do you think you're doing?
你看，这是从辛德尔兄弟那里偷来的，是吗? You see, this is stolen from shindel bros. Oh, it is, is it?
谁笑到最后，谁就笑到最后! He who laughs last, laughs last!
我告诉你，所有东西都被偷了，连最后一根弹簧高跷都被偷了。 I tell you everything is stolen down to the last pogo stick.
一切。 Everything.
你看到了什么?辛德尔兄弟，玩具乐园。 You see? Shindel bros. Toyland.
他拿着一张假支票走进我的店，我问他……什么？谁拿着假支票进了你的店? He comes into my store with a phony check and when I asked him... What? Who came into your store with a phony check?
他来了。他连逃跑的礼貌都没有，贱货。 There he is. He ain't even got the decency to run away, lowlife.
嘿，听我说。警官，逮捕那个人。 Hey, listen you. Officer, arrest that man.
你又开始做那些事了吗? You starting that stuff again?
你在说什么?你在说什么? What are you talking about? What are you talking about?
我从那孩子很小的时候就认识他了。 I've known that kid since he was knee-high to a cockroach.
他应该做什么?应该做什么? What's he supposed to have done? Supposed to have done?
听他说。 Listen to him.
他应该走进我的店，当着我的面亮出一张空头支票，然后他应该拿着一枚钻石戒指走出去我想我没有在那个女孩的手指上看到戒指。 He's supposed to walk into my store and flash a sour check in my face, then he's supposed to walk out with a diamond ring which I suppose I don't see on that girl's finger.
然后是一件漂亮的皮大衣我想我还没看到。 Then a nice fur coat which I suppose I ain't looking at yet.
然后他拿走了我店里一半的玩具，把橡皮支票给我一挥，然后拿走了粉末。 Than he takes half of the toys in my store, waves me the rubber check, and then takes a powder.
谁说这是空头支票?你疯了吗? Who says it's a rubber check? Are you nuts?
麦克斯福德医院的麦克斯福德医生，也许他疯了。 Dr. maxford of maxford house, maybe he's nuts.
麦克斯福德医生亲手给我的支票怎么能说是假支票呢? How can Dr. maxford say it's a phony check when he gave it to me himself?
schwindel先生……辛德尔，谢谢你。 Mr. schwindel... Shindel, thank you.
我认识这孩子的时候他爸妈还没结婚呢。 I know this boy since his papa and mama wasn't even married, yet.
整个家庭都有点疯狂。 The whole family is a little bit crazy.
25000美元。你能想象吗? $25,000. Can you imagine?
一个梦想家。 A dreamer.
但是施瓦茨夫人，齐默尔曼先生…让我来处理吧。 But Mrs. Schwartz, Mr. Zimmerman... Let me handle it.
我告诉你他给了我一张支票。 I tell you he gave me a check.
如果他说他给了他一张支票…然后他把支票给了他。 If he says he gave him a check... Then he gave him the check.
你为什么不回家好好想想呢? Why don't you just go home and think it all over?
听着，我要把你打成碎片。 Listen, you, I'll break you in so many pieces.
你们都是证人。他拒绝……你是在模仿一个履行职责的军官吗?谁会试图模仿别人…… You're all witnesses here. He refuses... Are you trying to imitate an officer in the pursuit of his duty? Who's trying to imitate anybody...
官!警官，逮捕这个人。这是以前尝试过的。 Officer! Officer, arrest this man. That's been tried before.
麦克斯福德医生，这里有点混乱。 Dr. maxford, there's been some sort of a mix-up here.
你竟敢厚颜无耻地跟我说话，年轻人? You have the effrontery even to speak to me, young man?
你在说什么? What are you talking about?
我只想让你告诉这些人你给了我一张支票。 I just want you to tell these people that you gave me a check.
检查什么?你在办公室给我的那张。 What check? The one you gave me in your office.
让我看看。当然 Let me see it. Certainly.
哦，那张支票。 Oh, that check.
天啊，我感觉好多了。等一下! Oh, boy, do I feel better. Wait a minute!
嘿，怎么了，你在破坏证据，你这个骗子! Hey, what are you destroying the evidence, you crook!
你是谁，你这个窃贼?辛德尔，你这个笨蛋。 Who are you, you burglar? Shindel, you schnook.
警官，把这些人都抓起来。 Officer, I want all these people arrested.
听着,墨索里尼……麦克斯福德医生，如果出了什么问题，你为什么给我支票? Listen, Mussolini... Dr. maxford, if there's been something wrong, why did you give me the check for?
你为什么给我发电报? Why did you send me a telegram?
你知道得很清楚，我从来没有给你发过电报! You know perfectly well I never sent you a telegram in my life!
我从来没听说过你。 I never even heard of you.
你不会说你没给我支票吧? You're not going to say you didn't give me a check?
这完全是一个错误。 That was entirely by mistake.
从我第一次看到你的那一刻起，我就对你产生了怀疑。 I was suspicious of you from the first moment I ever clamped eyes on you.
你是说我没赢?你很清楚你没赢。 You mean, I didn't win? You know perfectly well you didn't win.
,但是……-等一下。 - But... - Wait a minute.
他要负全责。我都看到了。 He's entirely responsible. I see it all.
我知道大公司是怎么运作的。上帝保佑。 I know how big firms work. God forbid.
女士们先生们，这是一个诚实的男孩。 This is an honest boy, ladies and gentlemen.
我第一眼看到他就知道了。 I knew it the minute I looked at him.
你把支票给他了，你这个笨蛋，你凭什么来抓人? You gave him the check, you numskull, so where do you come in to have anyone arrested?
或者我应该收回我善意出售的商品。 Or I should take back the merchandise that I sold in good faith.
把那个达文波特拿下来，给这位女士拿上楼。 Take down that Davenport and carry it upstairs for the lady.
祝你身体健康。麦克斯福德医生送的礼物。 Enjoy it in good health. A present from Dr. maxford.
给，再给孩子们买些冰淇淋。 And, here, buy the children some more ice cream.
他们可以更好地享受我的玩具。 They can enjoy my toys much better.
带着麦克斯福德医生的爱，他付了所有的钱。 With love from Dr. maxford who's paying for everything.
我付钱之前在霍博肯见。 I'll see you in hoboken before I pay for anything.
我们法庭上见，我保证你会支付所有费用。在猪鼻子里! And I'll see you in court, where I'll guarantee you you'll pay for everything with costs. In a pig's nose!
不管有没有猪。 Pigs or no pigs.
我还要告诉你一件事……哦，你会的，是吗? And I'll tell you another thing... Oh, you will, will you?
不要拿那些好的。 Don't take the good ones.
没关系，亲爱的。你不能失去你从未拥有过的东西。 It doesn't matter, honey. You can't lose anything you never had.
我不要他的旧戒指，也不要他的旧臭鼬。 I don't want his old ring, or his old skunk.
我不明白的是谁发的那封电报? What I can't figure is who sent that telegram?
你好,吉米。你好,贝蒂。 Hello, Jimmy. Hello, Betty.
你好。你好。 Hello. Hello.
那是什么? What's that?
这就是你妈想要的达文波特吗? Is this the kind of Davenport your ma wanted?
曲柄安装在这里，当你转动它…晚上可以做成一张全尺寸双人床。那家伙说它很好用。 The crank fits on here, and when you turn it... Makes into a full-size double bed at night. The guy says it works swell.
我不知道你为什么要去买那个。 I don't know what you had to go get that for.
我们希望这能弥补那封假电报的损失。 Well, we kind of hoped that it might make up for the phony telegram.
这本来是个玩笑。这不是一个很有趣的笑话。 It was supposed to be a joke. It wasn't a very funny joke.
哦。 Oh.
我明白了。 I get it.
哦,吉米。 Oh, Jimmy.
嗨，吉米先生。你好,萨姆。 Hi, Mr. Jimmy. Hello, Sam.
老板走了吗? The boss gone, yet?
不，先生，他还在里面密谋着什么呢。 No, sir, he's still in there conniving on something or other.
你明早再告诉他吧? Why don't you tell him in the morning?
听到你的好运我很高兴，吉米先生。 Sure was glad to hear about your good luck, Mr. Jimmy.
你不需要男仆吧? You wouldn't be needing a valet, would you?
不，谢谢，萨姆。 No, thanks, Sam.
先生，我想你是对的。 Well, sir, I guess you is right.
但并不是每个人都能在年轻的时候中头彩。你说对了。 But it sure ain't everybody that hits the jackpot while they is young and all. You said it.
看。你好,猫咪。 Look. Hello, pussy.
当一只黑猫穿过你的道路时，它是好运还是厄运? Is it good luck or bad luck when a black cat crosses your path?
这都取决于之后会发生什么。 That all depends on what happens afterwards.
你说对了。 You said it.
不是每个人都这样的，先生。 It sure don't happen to everybody, sir.
是的，先生，看。 Yes, sir. Look.
晚上好。 Good evening.
很时髦吧? Pretty snazzy, huh?
是的。它是可爱的。 Yeah. It's lovely.
谢谢你！ Thank you.
小心。我们会的。 Be careful. We will.
会很美好的，不是吗? It was going to be nice, wasn't it?
别闹了，亲爱的。好了，别闹了。加油！加油 Stop it, honey. Come on, now, cut it out. Come on, come on.
进来。 Come in.
我希望我没有打扰你。哦，不，先生。 I hope I'm not intruding. Oh, no, sir.
我正要下来看你。我们顺路进去看了看办公室。所以我注意到了。希望你喜欢。哦，真漂亮。 I was just coming down to see you. We stopped in to take a look at the office... So I noticed. I hope you like it. Oh, it's beautiful.
不是每个像你这样年纪的年轻人都有自己的办公室和私人秘书的。 It isn't every young man who gets his own office and a private secretary at your age.
对他们中的许多人来说，我可能会担心这会冲昏他们的头脑，但我认为你的脚是脚踏实地的。 With many of them I might be afraid it would go to their heads, but I think you have your feet pretty solidly on the ground.
谢谢你，巴克斯特先生。哦，我是说真的。 Thank you, Mr. Baxter. Oh, I mean it sincerely.
你走后，詹金斯先生和我详细地讨论了我们的会面，我想让你知道，我们真的被打动了。 Mr. Jenkins and I discussed our little meeting at great length after you left, and I want you to know that we were genuinely impressed.
确实如此。听你这么说真是太好了……我们对你的想法思考得越多，就越意识到它们的尖锐和简洁……有…… Genuinely so. Well, that's certainly nice to hear... The more we thought about your ideas, the more aware we became of their pungency, of their brevity... Well, there's...
他们的脆。哦，谢谢你，先生。你真有写口号的天赋。你一定很有音乐鉴赏力。 Of their crispness. Oh, thank you, sir. It certainly... You have a genuine talent for slogans. It must be like having an ear for music.
现在你带我去吧。 Now you take me.
我唱得平淡无奇，而你却是一个天生的口号家。 I sing flat, and you on the other hand, are a born sloganeer.
“它是在豆子里培育出来的。”热zigity ! "It's bred in the bean". Hot zigity!
听你这么说真是太好了，巴克斯特先生。 Well, it's certainly wonderful to hear, Mr. Baxter.
我有点心事，但你确实让我感觉好多了。 I kind of got something on my mind, but you've certainly made me feel a lot better.
我是说，他们的想法还是一样的，不是吗? I mean, they're still the same ideas, aren't they?
如果他们今天下午表现得很好，他们，他们仍然很好。 If they were good this afternoon, they're, they're still good.
嗯，他们必须是。它们是一样的。 Well, they'd have to be. They're the same.
当然了。当然了。 Of course they are. Of course they are.
我不太确定我是否有你的想法。 I'm not quite sure that I have your thought.
我是说，如果你觉得今天下午的点子不错，你现在也觉得不错，对吧?嗯，我当然知道。 I mean, if you thought the ideas were good this afternoon, you still think they're good, don't you? Well, of course, I do.
为什么?我的意思是，既然他们过去很好，现在也很好，他们就必须很好，这样就不会有太大的区别了 Why? Well, I mean, since they were good, and they're still good, they have to be good, and then it wouldn't make so much difference or any difference
如果我没有赢得比赛，马克斯福德住宅比赛，会吗? if I hadn't won the contest, the maxford house contest, would it?
当然会有所不同。哦，会吗? Of course it would make a difference. Oh, it would?
嗯，当然会。为什么? Well, certainly it would. Why?
我不是天才。我不是靠自己的判断来保住我父亲的钱的。我每天都犯错误。 I'm no genius. I didn't hang onto my father's money by backing my own judgment, you know. I make mistakes every day.
有时一天几次。我有一仓库的错误。 Sometimes several times a day. I've got a whole warehouse full of mistakes.
我得说这会有很大的不同。 I should say it would make a difference.
你看，我认为你的想法很好，因为我觉得它们听起来不错，但我知道你的想法很好，因为你赢得了这场比赛，击败了数百万有抱负的人。是啊，但你看，巴克斯特先生… You see, I think your ideas are good because they sound good to me, but I know your ideas are good because you won this contest over millions of aspirants. Yeah, but you see, Mr. Baxter...
这可能就是你所说的商业保险，就像一匹马在德比中获胜时，你为他的奖金而支持他。 It's what you might call commercial insurance, as when a horse wins the derby, you back him for the preakness.
好吧，我没有赢。preakness吗? Well, I didn't win it. The preakness?
比赛，我什么也没赢。这是个玩笑。 The contest, I didn't win anything. It was a joke.
一个笑话。 A joke.
反正他们就是这么想的。是谁干的? That's what they meant it to be, anyway. Who did?
有些人。哦，他们没有恶意。 Some of the fellows. Oh, they didn't mean any harm.
他们只是想看看我得知消息后是什么表情。 They just wanted to see how I'd look when I got the news.
好吧，你告诉我他们的名字，等我告诉他们一些消息，我们再看看他们是什么表情。我不想这么做，巴克斯特先生。 Well, you tell me their names and we'll see how they look when I give them some news. I wouldn't care to do that, Mr. Baxter.
哦，没关系。你说无所谓是什么意思? Oh, it doesn't matter. What do you mean, it doesn't matter?
在我花了一下午的时间听了一堆废话都是为了赢得这场比赛让你得到这个职位! After I spend a whole afternoon listening to a lot of baloney entirely predicated on the winning of this contest and giving you this office!
那"它是在咖啡豆中培育出来的，蓝血咖啡"呢? But how about, "it's bred in the bean, the blueblood coffee"?
我不知道，怎么了?我们会找到答案的。 Well, I don't know, what about it? We'll find that out.
有足够的时间。 There'll be plenty of time for that.
但我不会被耍的，你懂的。 But I won't be made a fool of, you understand.
我不能因为一个我个人认为一点都不好笑的恶作剧而四处分发私人办公室和私人秘书。 I can't go around giving out private offices and private secretaries on the strength of a prank that personally I consider far from funny.
是，长官，是，长官! Yes, sir. Yes, sir!
明天早上在办公桌前面对那群人可能有点难。 Could be kind of hard to face that gang tomorrow morning from back at that desk.
如果你不属于这里，在这里也很难面对他们。 It would be just as hard to face them from in here, if you didn't belong here.
令人不安的是……他确实属于这里，巴克斯特先生。 Uneasy lies the head that... he does belong in here, Mr. Baxter.
现在，这次的笑话是什么? Now, what is the joke this time?
他属于这里，因为他觉得他属于这里。 He belongs in here because he thinks he belongs in here.
因为他认为他…哦，这些都是非常深奥和夸张的，但从实际来看……这很实际，巴克斯特先生。 Because he thinks he... Oh, that's all very deep dish and highfalutin, but from a practical... It is practical, Mr. Baxter.
这是你有过的最实际的主意。 It's the most practical idea you ever had.
他属于这里，因为他觉得自己有想法。 He belongs in here because he thinks he has ideas.
他属于这里，直到他证明自己或失败，然后另一个人属于这里，直到他证明自己或失败，然后再有人，再有人在他之后， He belongs in here until he proves himself or fails, and then somebody else belongs in here until he proves himself or fails, and somebody else after that, and somebody else after him,
以此类推，直到永远。 and so on and so on for always.
哦，我不知道怎么用吉米的话来表达，但他想要的，他们所有人想要的，就是一个机会来展示，去发现，他们在年轻的时候拥有什么 Oh, I don't know how to put it into words like Jimmy could, but all he wants, all any of them want is, is a chance to show, to find out, what they've got while they're still young
燃烧就像一条捷径或垫脚石。 and burning like a shortcut or a stepping stone.
我知道他们不会成功的。至少大多数都不是。 Oh, I know they're not going to succeed. At least most of them aren't.
他们很快就会像沃特伯里先生一样，反正大多数人都是这样，但他们不会介意的。 They'll all be like Mr. waterbury soon enough, most of them, anyway, but they won't mind it.
他们会找到别的工作，他们会很高兴，因为他们有了机会，因为机会来了，失去是一回事，但从来没有机会，又是另一回事。 They'll find something else and they'll be happy because they had their chance because it's one thing to muff a chance when you get it, but it's another thing never to have had a chance.
他的名字已经在门上了。 His name's already on the door.
如果有什么决定了我，那就是它了。 Well, if anything decided me, that would be it.
哦，巴克斯特先生。现在你说得够多了。 Oh, Mr. Baxter. Now you've talked enough.
桌子已经搬过了，名字也已经画好了，正如你巧妙地指出的那样，所以我们会在很短的时间内试一试，你明白吗? The desks have already been moved and the name is painted on, ds you so skillfully pointed out, so we'll try it for a very short time, you understand?
不能预支工资，明白吗?是的,先生。 At no advance in salary, you understand? Yes, sir.
而且时间很短。是的,先生。 And for a very short time. Yes, sir.
毕竟，这是一个商业机构，而不是一个文化项目。 After all, this is a business institution, not a cultural project.
你永远不会后悔的，巴克斯特先生。 Oh, you'll never be sorry, Mr. Baxter.
是啊，我已经有点抱歉了，就这样吧。 Yes, well, I'm a little bit sorry already, so just let it go at that.
晚安，早上尽量准时到。 Good night and try to be on time in the morning.
哦,哼! Oh, pshaw!
这不是很棒吗? Isn't it wonderful?
你很棒，你永远都很棒，但我对自己有点怀疑。别像个傻瓜一样说话，好吗? You were wonderful, you'll always be wonderful, but I'm a little bit leery about me. Don't talk like a fathead, will you?
这是一个千载难逢的机会，你知道你已经具备了。 This is a chance of a lifetime, and you know you've got what it takes.
你知道的。我不知道。 You know that. I don't know.
直到收到那封电报我才知道。现在我不知道了。 I never did know until I got that telegram. And now I don't know anymore.
我就像巴克斯特先生。 I'm like Mr. Baxter.
所以我才理解他，什么也没说，明白吗? That's why I understood him and didn't say anything, see?
即使我们不应该在一起，但它让我们走到了一起，这是重要的我有戒指可以证明，你现在不能背弃我，否则我会起诉你。 Well, even if it shouldn't work out, it brought us together, and that's something and I've got the ring to prove it, and you can't back out on me now, or I'd sue you.
哦，可怜的孩子。 Oh, you poor kid.
所以你看，我们有很多值得感谢的。 So you see we have plenty to be thankful for.
确定。 Sure.
那只猫又来了。 There's that cat again.
晚安 晚安，萨姆。 Good night. Good night, Sam.
晚安 Good night.
看。是的。 Look. Yeah.
今天下午看起来真有趣。老秃鹰。 Sure looked funny this afternoon. The old buzzard.
你去炸鱼了吗，麦克斯福德医生?不，我没去吃炸鱼。 Was you to a fish fry, Dr. maxford? No, I wasn't to a fish fry.
闻起来像七道菜的宴会。我也没有参加任何宴会。 Smells like a seven-course banquet. I wasn't to any banquet, either.
maxford博士!你想要什么? Dr. maxford! Well, what do you want?
我有个好消息要告诉你。 I got some good news for you.
花了一点功夫，但我最终赢得了那些人的信任。 It took a little doing, but I won those clucks over in the end.
我的感觉是，骗子，这已经不重要了。 The way I feel about it, bildocker, it just doesn't matter anymore.
这是最愚蠢的，最愚蠢的，最令人愤怒的……但是等着听口号吧!但我不想听到这个口号! This is the stupidest, the most asinine, the most infuriating... But wait till you hear the slogan! But I don't wish to hear the slogan!
我不想再听到关于整个混乱的事情了。 I don't wish to hear any more about the whole mess.
选出你的赢家，寄给他一张支票，告诉他去……听我说，好吗?这样好吗? Pick your winner, send him a check and tell him to go and... Listen to this, will you? Is this good?
“如果你晚上睡不着，那不是咖啡的问题，而是床铺的问题。” "If you don't sleep at night, it isn't the coffee, it's the bunk."
这是一句口号吗?这就是所谓的双关语，相信我，这就是双关语。 Is that a slogan? It's what you call a pun, and believe me, it's some pun.
我们刚刚给获胜者发了一封电报，一个叫詹姆斯·麦克的家伙… We just sent the winner a telegram, a guy by the name of James Mac...